a world on fire

Self-deception is universal
We all crawl inside that dark cave
but my chaos has become a universe in itself
For years, I have built my illusive fate

I sit at the window still - afraid still
but I can feel the lifting of the veil
I want the haze to melt
I want so desperately to take in a real breath

For 40 days and 40 nights
I have been wearing my veil
Is it time for me to finally be whole
or to pity insecurities, should I stay buried in this hole?

The only time that I feel myself as I truly am
is when my colors bleed
I want to live on fire
I want to create a world

Could you love me that much?
To give me space to roam and to figure this out
to let me find the overgrown path
that I abandon all those years ago

I am not leaving you
I am not saying farewell
but I want to create a fire
and I want to live in that world.