FROM 1-14-04

Obsessively exploring the dark corners of my heart,
Wondering how far I could wander into this darkness,
Before falling down exhausted, to find out how deep I really am.

Rummaging through the old shit of unfinished business,
Things I hid away for another day,
Or pain of which I simply couldnt tolerate feeling at the moment.

"This is a mess!" Im thinking,
"So many years of pushing it all away....",
Secretly feeling so sad and so pathetic,
And more than ever feeling alone....so fucking alone.